Lament

It is sad and disappointing in equal measure to see where you're sliding, girl. I shall swiftly but gently put a neat closure to us, lest the dignity of our beautiful, transient relationship stains.

Weeding

"I ransacked my memory looking for all the people who listen to me consistently and convincingly. I found just your name. Thus I decided to get rid of you, because you're helping me and I don't want one. Goodbye."

"I see. You can get rid of me because I'm helping you, but what about the ones who are not helping you? Can you get rid of them?"

"Ha ha ha ha, good question! Very good question!"